Automotive Infidelity

My lovely little red car and I have been together for over a decade. It was love at first sight, and I had to beg, borrow, and practically steal to make her mine, since I hadn't even graduated from nursing school on that fateful day that I decided I would not live without her.

She traveled 90,000 miles in her first three years without a single complaint and zoomed me up, down, and across Idaho countless times with only 2 or 3 minor "sick days." I was quite loyal to my little car and have refused to make a change through good times and bad.

Lately, however, I find I'm frequently guilty of wandering eyes. It's such a cliche to admit that I'm going to trade her in for the newer sports model; alas, I'm only human - a weak, vain human...

Introducing the contenders for my next automotive life partner:

The Infiniti G37
The Volkswagen EOS

The BMW 135i

I'll pay for my infidelity (quite literally). But, I've made sure my little Cougar is going to a good home to live with someone who will appreciate her and give her the attention she deserves. Now, on to the task of figuring out how to raise the funds to woo my next car...

I Love Kate Voegele

What One Tree Hill fan doesn't love Kate Voegele? And what girl in her right mind doesn't love One Tree Hill? (Don't answer that if you're going to hurt my feelings.) Anyway, Kate released her second album, and you can download the mp3 version of the entire album from Amazon for just $2.99.

If The Shoe Fits... Wear It With Different Ribbons Every Day

I have a new love. A long-distance love. A made-just-for-me, "sole"mate kind of love.

Unfortunately, it is also a 6-8-week-waiting-list kind of love.

Look at these shoes from my new made-in-America crush Mohop, and try to tell me you don't absolutly hate me for finding them first. I double-dog-dare you.

I must have them. Denying the instant connection simply isn't an option. I've already planned out the appropriate budget cuts to finance my next dose of happiness. Each pair comes with five sets of ribbons. And then you can buy even more on the website. So really, I'll be getting five pairs of shoes. That makes them a very economical investment in myself.

If I Lived in Paris, I'd Still Be Asleep

Amazing photo by David Latt

Apparently I could put off Monday morning a little longer if I lived in France. According to this article, the French spend more time eating and sleeping than the people of any other wealthy country. The average citizen sleeps almost 9 hours a night and spends more than two hours a day eating. And they're thinner than Americans.

*Sigh* As if I didn't already have enough Parisian envy...

Other French things I love...

Marie Claire Idees



Macaroons

Chanel

Croissant French Toast

The Lawyer and His Porsche

A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Porsche Carrera GT in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he was getting out, a truck came along too close to the car and completely tore off the driver's door.

Fortunately, a policeman was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Porsche, his lights flashing. But, before the policeman had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his Porsche, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same no matter how hard the body shop tried to make it new again.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief. 'I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are,' he said. 'You're so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life'

'How can you say such a thing?' asked the lawyer. The officer replied, 'Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!'

'OH, NO!' screamed the lawyer. 'MY ROLEX!!!'

~Passed on by Tessa

I Love Lawyer Jokes (Bring 'em on!)

The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, "Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the United Way?"

The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, "First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, "Uh... no, I didn't know that."

"Secondly," says the lawyer, "did it show that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?"

The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology but is cut off again. "Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, "I'm so sorry, I had no idea."

And the lawyer says, "So... if I didn't give any money to them, what makes you think I'd give any to you?"

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Haha, right? Think you have a better one? Send it to me, and I'll post it.

(coaster and t-shirt available from Cafe Press)

I Love My Lawyer Peeps

This is my kind of contest. Too bad I missed the deadline! The American Bar Association had a "Peeps in Law" contest. The top three contenders are pictured above.

They had 45 submissions, you can see the other's here:

My personal favorite? Legally Peep

Or maybe State v. O.J.

Or maybe My Cousin Peep (Scene 2).

Seeing Double

Presenting my beautiful new nieces, Taylor and Shelby.

Aren't they so incredibly precious? Rachel and Russell are absolutely the most adorable new parents.

Valerie thought that since they had two, maybe they could send one home with us. I agree. I already miss them terribly.

The T-Mobile Dance

Perhaps everyone has seen this video except for me, but I am glad to have found it today. It was a perfectly-timed "happy-bandaid" for my morning. (I know they say you shouldn't cry over spilt milk, but there must be an exception when it spills ALL OVER inside of your leather bag on the way to work.)

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the T-Motible Dance as much as I did whether it's your first time or your fifteenth. Oh, and here's a shout-out to my favorite T-Mobile employee, Coli. :)

I Love That Even Supermodels Have Fat Days/Months

Thank you, Kathy Ireland, for proving that supermodels are not actually all extra-terrestrials sent to Earth (from what must be the most beautiful planet in the universe) to torture us with aspirations of unattainable perfection.

Heidi Klum, feel free to return at your earliest convenience. You just make the rest of us look bad...

(Read Kathy Ireland's story at People.com.)