Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I Love Lawyer Jokes (Bring 'em on!)

The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, "Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the United Way?"

The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, "First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, "Uh... no, I didn't know that."

"Secondly," says the lawyer, "did it show that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?"

The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology but is cut off again. "Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, "I'm so sorry, I had no idea."

And the lawyer says, "So... if I didn't give any money to them, what makes you think I'd give any to you?"

Haha, right? Think you have a better one? Send it to me, and I'll post it.

(coaster and t-shirt available from Cafe Press)

Friday, April 17, 2009

I Love My Lawyer Peeps

This is my kind of contest. Too bad I missed the deadline! The American Bar Association had a "Peeps in Law" contest. The top three contenders are pictured above.

They had 45 submissions, you can see the other's here:

My personal favorite? Legally Peep

Or maybe My Cousin Peep (Scene 2).

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Seeing Double

Presenting my beautiful new nieces, Taylor and Shelby.
Aren't they so incredibly precious? Rachel and Russell are absolutely the most adorable new parents.
Valerie thought that since they had two, maybe they could send one home with us. I agree. I already miss them terribly.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The T-Mobile Dance

Perhaps everyone has seen this video except for me, but I am glad to have found it today. It was a perfectly-timed "happy-bandaid" for my morning. (I know they say you shouldn't cry over spilt milk, but there must be an exception when it spills ALL OVER inside of your leather bag on the way to work.)

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the T-Motible Dance as much as I did whether it's your first time or your fifteenth. Oh, and here's a shout-out to my favorite T-Mobile employee, Coli. :)

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

I Love That Even Supermodels Have Fat Days/Months

Thank you, Kathy Ireland, for proving that supermodels are not actually all extra-terrestrials sent to Earth (from what must be the most beautiful planet in the universe) to torture us with aspirations of unattainable perfection.
Heidi Klum, feel free to return at your earliest convenience. You just make the rest of us look bad...
(Read Kathy Ireland's story at

Thursday, April 2, 2009

I Love Holidays - Tax Freedom Day

Apparently April 13th is "Tax Freedom Day." Initially, I was pretty excited. I thought, "Wow, we get a tax-free holiday?" Then I learned the sobering truth...

This year, the average American will have to work through April 13th just to make enough money to pay income taxes on the money he/she will earn in 2009.
Excuse me a minute, I think I just threw up a little.

Americans will pay more in taxes this year than they will on food, clothing, and housing combined (some day I'd like to disprove that statistic with my shoe budget alone).

Apparently this is good news, however. Last year it took us until April 21. And Tax Freedom Day is a full two weeks earlier this year than it was in 2007.
I'd really like to end with some sort of glass-half-full statement, but I just can't bring myself to think of one. I have to get back to work now, so I can continue to pay on my tax bill.